I had this sent to me via email today by a co-worker and found it quite amusing. I have not yet done the research to find out if any of this is true etc, but regardless it is still quite funny. Take a quick read.

Update: Turns out this is fake, but still a good read. Here is the info on Snopes: http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp)


In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US resident, and posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law.
I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to
defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them
that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination … End
of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other
elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male
and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring
nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans,
but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a
fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is
in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The
problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women
take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my
neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should
I smite them?

5. I have neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally
obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do
it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there
‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some
wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including
the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly
forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it
really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them
to death at a private family affair, like we do with people
who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these
things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such
matters, so I’m confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and
unchanging.
Your adoring fan.

(I have removed the authors name, as it has come to my attention that this letter was infact a hoax, and the name listed was a real name etc: http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp)

PS (It would be a damn shame if we couldn’t own a Canadian)